Grateful

My dear girl,

For some reason, today I've happened on several stories by parents who have lost, are in the process of losing, or are struggling with a very sick baby.  Each one I read, my heart is broken.  And each one I read makes me ever more grateful for the gift we've been given in you and how very, very fortunate we've been each step of the way.

Yesterday I remarked to your dad that when people stop to coo over you (which happens often, since you are undeniably an adorable baby), one of the most common compliments you receive is how "healthy" you look.  It's surprised me, since that's never something I've thought to say about a baby.  But it made me step back and look at you with new eyes.  You DO look healthy: chubby cheeks, stout legs, sparkling eyes, and beautiful clear skin.  It made me realize how each day we take this resolute, enviable good health for granted.

Last year at this time, the baby of an old childhood friend was diagnosed with infant leukemia.  I read her first blog post about his illness only a few short days after learning I was pregnant with you.  It made me weep, knowing that mama was spending her moments confronting the possibility of loss, while knowing that the spark that became you was busily growing inside me.  It impressed on me the enormity of this love: that I barely knew you but already couldn't bear to lose you.

You are so, so beautiful in your glowing good health.  So strong, smart, and happy.  Reading these stories of tragedy and loss, I resolve to be present with you every day and be grateful with you every day and to enjoy the gift of you, every day.